In Bomb We Trust

Here they gather and play 'round the bomb,
With the same love and joy they'd express for their mom.
Raised proud, patriotic, and taught to love war,
But not to ask questions like "What are we fighting for?"


Buying Time At Heron's

Come on down to Haron's, where people shop to get their things.
Lots of people running errands never stop to chase their dreams.
They're too busy buying stuff, and who knows what they're thinking of!
Who would dare shop at a store with monsters on the top floor?
It all comes down to push and shove. Always buying, buying more...
When you're buying things so quickly- don't know what you're buying for.


The Monster's House

Some very concerned people gathered at the monster's house.
One was weary, thought him scary, quite surprised to see him out.
But the others weren't perplexed as it's what you would expect,
When a monster's height exceeds to go inside would be a threat.

So of course he stands outside! But still the people wonder why...
Filled with questions they asked why such a tall monster would buy-
A three story house that's nice but much too short to fit inside...?

And the monster sighed and replied with an answer that implied-
That it's all he could afford... A fact that made the people sad,
But not sad enough to ignore his request to come inside.

"If I can't fit through the door, then I might as well rely-
On your thoughts of what it must be like to sleep inside at night."
"Something I'll never know but I should have realized...
Before I went in debt to buy a house that's not my size."


Ello Codsworth

Say Hello to Ello, a fun new social network!
Where everyone is mellow and nobody is a jerk.
Ello's held up on the left by happy people good to meet,
Who make the network special by sharing things unique!

And Codsworth to the right... He's here from Fallout 4!
Friendly robot (and a fighter!) tough enough to survive war.
Two very special robots both of whom we all should know...
So play Fallout and then friend me at ELLO DOT CO!


Celebrity of the Tree

People dancing in the tree,
May not matter that much to you or me,
Unless you happen to have red hair...
And then you'll be invited there!

You say you wouldn't go? That you don't care?
These guys said the same, you know...
But now they're there!

Dancing about with their willies out for all to see-
I have no doubt that you'd look stout with them up in the tree!

They have great lives, they're just the right size,
To survive on leaves.
If it was up to me you'd join the crowd,
Up in the tree, I have no doubt,
I'd be so proud of you indeed...

And when you're through I hope you'll do a dance or two for me.
Cheers to your newfound Treetop Dance Celebrity!



The aliens came to take the Earth's water
But they had a change of heart
When they heard the mayor's daughter

"All life is sacred... for a start,"
"And Earth's not an intergalactic Water-Mart!"
"This fluid means life, and we need it to live,"
"So please spare our lives, we've so much more to give!"

So the aliens that came with an intention to take
Ev'ry last bit of water, from ocean to lake
Became friends to the people, brought smiles instead!
Thanks to the mayor's daughter and the words she said.


Renton Bus Stop

Sitting at a bus stop waiting on a bus
You could either stay at home or come on down to hang with us
We got people up on top and they're quick to fall in love
While the others sit around, I wonder what they're thinking of?

Bird man passed out on the curb... From drinking too much beer?
But please do not disturb, he'll put his finger in your ear!
And who knows where it's been... See that smile on his face?
Bird Man's no stranger to a sin that leaves his finger with a taste!


Ode to Poopaw

Before my dog died I invited some friends
To come say goodbye before her life would end
But I have no friends, only strange people came
And they laughed with big grins at my dog on display

So I asked them to leave but they said they would not!
They thought it a party. (These guys party a lot.)
So out came the beer and then up came the laughing
And all gave a big cheer to honor her passing

In one way her last day, was kind of quite sad
But in others the best day Poopaw ever had.


The People Holes

With construction work to do
(And so much to be done)
Sometimes a road crew does strange things
To make the day more fun

And I am here today, to tell you 'bout these creeps
Who took these mens' toupees and buried them deep in the street
Right up to their necks, "With no sunblock!" they said
Sitting in the road all day their heads were turning red

And traffic would not stop!
Instead they scoffed and sped around
Exhaust was bad, the sad heads coughed
So soft you barely heard a sound

Thank God for the police, who came to the rescue
Here to keep the peace arrived the heroes dressed in blue.
But they didn't come to save the heads (that's too much work, you see)
These cops showed up to laugh and feed them donuts and coffee!



Here's my final for the Doodlers Anonymous BLIK clock face design challenge.


Safe Passage with the Gallant Goodbot

Heinous Stinkbots are coming to eat the baby Quaggles! Swordmaster Mylo wants to fight, but a Gallant Goodbot has offered the family safe passage to a better land where Happy Propellerbots watch over the flock and strange bunnies rain down from the sky to deliver purple flowers.


Heap of Wack Peeps

A man named Dan was a running man with a plan
Who ran by a tan cop standing by in the sand
With a donut in his hand and mouth filled with sharp teeth
Deeply focused on the pastry he was trying to eat...

While the hipster in a sleek suit chin-checked a bird
Who demanded respect, "Call me 'sir' or get pecked!"
"Well that's absurd," reflected the nerd (who grew up to be fat)
With that sleep walking man who looked oddly like his dad.

But Santa has a box for the feather-necked Pherg,
Who was disturbed by that shlock who tried to beat that sweet bird
If you're perturbed by this heap of wack peeps on the street
Just take a seat and sit back - you're in for a treat!


Paulo the Spider Rider and the Rock Steady Blockheads

This is Paulo the Spider Rider and the Rock Steady Blockheads, a ragtag group of storytellers and herbologists from the deep south. There are times in life when one realizes mankind needs more carnivorous plants. Paulo figured this out long ago and is doing something about it. Be sure to attend his tales when he passes through your town, but listen to what the blockhead said: "Steer clear of the biennials, and don't pet the plants."


The Brownstone Spiders

I love New York and I'd move my family there if not for the Brownstone Spiders. Look, I know the architecture there is incredible and the rugged sense of community runs strong in those neighborhoods... But I'll be damned if I let my family get eaten by one of those things. Nice architecture or not.


Bad Aliens

When I was a kid there was an empty lot next to my house where aliens would land sometimes. The aliens would make me do things like play tricks on my sister and not finish my homework. I never knew why they chose me to bother but I'm certain it was my neighbor's fault.

The neighbor worked at Frito-Lay and was always smoking in his yard while watering his dandelions. Sometimes he would make me mow his lawn, but only when the grass was so high my lawnmower could barely cut it and there were snakes in his yard. The aliens were probably there to feed on his well-fertilized grass, but never enough to make it easy to mow.


New Work In Progress

New work in progress includes aliens and a chubby fellow watering his yard.


Sport Utility Robot

What comes next after self-driving cars? All-Terrain Self-Driving Sport Utility Robots. We'll be a bit sweaty & crowded up top on our way to work, but it's totally worth it to bounce about in a robot's head. (Google is working on these things now.)




Terrarium Despairium

Big Bird thinks he can just boat into a tiny nightclub and he'll magically fit? No, no, no.  We got people caught up in that tube watching the swordfight up above. Birds are poking each other with pointy spear things -- This is not a nice place.

These people chopped roots and think everything will be okay if they eat the apple? No, no, no. Don't take that fish, window man. This is Terrarium Despairium.


Fishing for Giant Sea-Monkeys

What a lovely day to fish for giant Sea-Monkeys!  He doesn't actually want to bother them, though, so they do this thing where he drops a hook down in the water with no bait and the sea-monkey tugs on the line a little, and they look at each other through the rippling water and laugh together at that giant monster with people all over him that's about to attack the house.


Twin Terrariums

Sail on a skyship to the Twin Terrariums, where a kid can be a dragonrider or dance on the spot at the top of Mushroom Mountain. Grab a pole and fish for a friend, or talk to the bird in the tree about that time you poked yourself with a fork "to feel alive again." You'll feel alive at the Twin Terrariums where everyone is friendly and you can eat all the mushrooms and flowers (but not birds) one could ever want. Book your skyship today!

New Moleskine, New Drawing

Finally, a sketchbook paper that responds favorably to light watercolor washes... I love you, Moleskine!


Party Cobra and the Wholesome Craigslist People

Lonely? No problem. If you don't have any friends there's this guy you can call: The Party Cobra.

He'll post an ad in Casual Encounters and next thing you know all these wholesome Craigslist people storm your apartment at midnight and your neighbors are instantly impressed that you have so many friends. (They'll talk about it for weeks.)

Suddenly you're popular and cool and your party is a hit and you wake up cold in the bathtub with your carpets ruined and your dog is sick and your plumbing no longer works and and it hurts when you pee and there are several dead people in your kitchen all thanks to The Party Cobra.

Call today.


New Pen, New Drawing

First drawing with my new Pilot Prera fountain pen: It's the Party Cobra! Ready for color.


Twilight: The People Garden

Here's an illustration I did for Stephenie Meyer's first draft of Twilight before she added that part about vampires and werewolves. (Twilight was originally a children's story about vegetables planting a people garden.)


Character Studies

Here's a set of highly realistic character studies for my next drawing which will feature a typical American backyard garden.


It's Summertime!

It's a hot summer day, why not pile in the back of a truck and play chicken with a giant road monster? We can go birdwatching or throw coins to a roadside drunk. There are ghosts to play with and turtles to chase. Flowers to pick and farmers to toss frankfurters at! There's all kinds of fun to be had... It's Summertime!


New sketchbook, new drawing!

So here it is! It's just like a Moleskine except stronger stitching (double backstitch with hemp twine) and higher quality, thicker paper!  First drawing in it:


Babelbrooke 3K by Birdwagen Will Get Your Aviaries to School on Time

Getting the birds to school on time is critical, but not always possible when angry unicyclists on the street try to block your way. (These things happen, you just have to go around them.) Careful, though, as those hotrodders might just run you right off the road. That's why the new Babelbrooke 3K by Birdwagen is the right car for your aviary family.

With a seat that sets you high above anyone else you'll be able to spot road hazards like unicyclists and hotrodders in plenty of time to prepare and execute swift avoidance maneuvers. In addition, you'll feel more important way up there looking down on those other cars. (Just be careful at bridges & overpasses.)

Get your Babelbrooke 3K today!

The Posturing Birds

Birds can be nasty, often failing to keep their opinions to themselves. This Tall Bird is critical of the
girl's posture: "Stand up straight, or you'll get stuck like that." A passerby defends her, "Hey buddy, your posture isn't so great yourself." Meanwhile, a ghost chimes in "He's just trying to help!" To which the other ghost replies, "Stop it. You're just posturing."